Women Are Liars

by stonesphinxes

People who don’t lie.

Lets talk about sacred cows.

Specifically that people who value rationality shouldn’t be following any around with a wheelbarrow, happily collecting the leavings to share and compare with other devotees.  Hey, here’s a particularly shiny sacred dropping!  Mine has maize in it!  Yours does too?  Why is there always maize in it?

If one is to be intellectually honest, there can’t be any areas off-limits to scrutiny.  Consider, the only reason people laugh at all the jokes except about (topic) are because they’re personally invested in (topic) and it hurts their feelings when (topic) is made fun of.  They will try to say it is because (topic) is somehow sacrosanct and should be elevated above the street-corner banality of humor.  Of course, laughing at other people’s (topic) is fine, because considering those silly people’s (topic) restricted to serious handling is just plain nonsense.

As an aside, this is how we hatch the entirely humorless Politically Correct Puritan Inquisitors.  They’ve adopted so many versions of (topic) as their own very personal deep concern, that there’s no room for trivialization.  How would that make the Baka pygmies feel, huh?  Don’t you care about the lived experiences of left handed pasta aficionados of color?

Say, how many feminist girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They’re womyn, and that’s not funny.

Moving on, I find it unpleasant when people make claims to the effect of “(Group member) wouldn’t (action) about (topic).”

It’s just a version of the “that’s never funny” where something is arbitrarily declared off-limits because the appalled party either identifies with the group, or they feel one of their sacred cows may be exposed as having a tasty brisket.

Lately the declarative has been “Women wouldn’t lie about rape.”

If that sentence has ever tripped gracefully from your mouth or keyboard, you’ve probably never met a woman, and you should probably stop wheelbarrowing around behind whomever in your life is group attribution biasing at you.

Women lie.

Woman are liars.

Men are liars too of course, we’re into equal opportunity around here.

There is nothing about womanhood or femaleness or any other property of being a homo sapiens sapiens in possession of two X chromosomes that renders one incapable of lying.

Women lie about all sorts of things.  They lie about stealing, lie on their taxes, lie about how they raise their children, and lie about their weight on their driver’s licenses.  They lie by omission and lie to your face, and make up grandiose stories that get them attention and sympathy or get them out of discomfort.  Generally these are the exact same things that men lie about.  People, of the human sort, rather than the orangutan sort, lie.  I’m pretty sure that orangutans would lie too, if we could communicate with them adequately.  Humans start lying practically as soon as they learn to speak. 

Even the most morally upright will lie, if only to preserve other people’s feelings.   That shirt looks great on you, by the way.

You know who doesn’t lie?


Happy, vapid, innocents.  Of course, they also are pretty much useless for anything except porridge.  Eloi are the ultimate acted-upon.  They don’t lie because they have no desires.  There’s no need to get any sort of edge, even if it’s just not making that other Eloi mad because their Christmas sweater is really a little much.  They’re simply not smart enough to care.

When people spout that women would never lie about rape, they’re group biasing women into the sort of creatures that have such little imagination that they can’t figure out an advantage to plain making shit up.  It’s especially insulting when the advantages of that particular class of lie are so obviously juicy.

Instant attention, fawning, get out of practically anything free cards (caught with an embarrassing lover?  Rape!  need to explain where you’ve been all night?  Rape!), all the rewards of martyrdom, and just a fantastic college essay topic about the heinous trauma you overcame.  All this can be yours, without any evidence whatsoever!  Just make up some awful generic dude who did something completely unverifiable to you, and let the sweet sweet attention wash over you.  Anyone who doubts even your most ridiculous lies will pilloried for you (there are at least three serious cognitive failures in the first two paragraphs of that article, happy hunting).

It’s easy.  And it’s vastly common, as all my incredibly dubious but shockingly numerous raped, almost raped, and institutional-rape-culture-raped college associates attest to.

Women aren’t Eloi, they’re humans.  They’ll take the advantage when they can get it, especially when there’s no risk in doing so.

Don’t insult us with doe eyed instance we can’t commit vile acts with the best of them.

*Image Credit: Classics Illustrated: The Time Machine