Everyday Thoughtcrimes

Category: Women

We’ll Keep You Safe

Even if you think you’re an adult with agency and responsibility, we know that you’re actually a shrinking violet of the frailer sex, who needs protection from the world and herself, says the National Panhellenic Conference to University of Virginia’s 2,000-odd sorority sisters:

At some U-Va. chapters in recent days, students described mandatory emergency meetings with representatives from their national chapter telling them they risked suspension, fines and other penalties if any of them attended bid night parties. Boys’ Bid Night is typically a night when sorority sisters go from house to house sharing drinks with friends.

Now some sororities are planning mandatory in-house retreats that night, to avoid any risk of  inadvertently violating the rule.

At some chapters, women were told not only to avoid going to fraternity parties on Boys’ Bid Night, but to avoid any social gathering with fraternity members

You are clearly not responsible for your own actions and choices, we must protect you from those awful boys.

You know, it would probably be best, since boys are so incredibly terrible and obviously not a one of them have any self control (Rolling Stone has proved that positive of course), that we set apart special “Women’s Safe Spaces” in restaurants and public spaces.  We could even put screens between the sections so that our brave sisters don’t have to endure the patriarchal male gaze.

You know, in fact, we should also institute an entirely new way of dressing that frees women from the aforementioned visual rape continuously perpetuated upon them by those dirty men, and rejects the shallow and misogynistic concepts of modern capitalism-centered beauty.

Take that, patriarchy.

You know, it’s really unsafe out there, and we can’t “blame the victim” by expecting women to learn and behave in ways that don’t directly place them in harm.  We really should have special bodyguards to make sure women don’t get themselves into any trouble.

But, you know, you really can’t trust those frat boys, steeped as they are in anti-woman rape-encouraging culture.  A woman should really have a male family member accompany her to any gathering where there will be a group of men.  She can even wear her new beauty-positive clothing as a statement!

Together, sisters, we’ll show them how strong modern women are!




Not just something known to cause cancer in rats in the state of California.  (Though, are we aware of any substance and/or object that doesn’t cause cancer in the state of California?  The best risk management for cancer has to be moving away from California.)

This particular version causes grand revolutions, interpersonal spats, and great outbreaks of calvariam eksplodigi on our great campuses of higher learning.

I have been known to generate high torque from the PC crowd myself, when I state, without embarrassment or appropriate markers of shame, that men and women are NOT equal.

Now I’m not a neanderthal – I think that all human adults of majority age with adequate mental capacity should be able to vote, to own property, to pursue an education in whatever they prefer, and to get paid for their work what their work is more or less worth (not my fault though if you are incapable of negotiating, or feel the need to take sabbaticals to tour the NorthWestern Pacific ashram circuit every three years).

However, anyone who has ever spent a microsecond in a weightlifting gym is well aware that the sexes have some pretty wide gaps in at least physical ability.  Don’t believe me?  Take a set of guys and girls at the same level of total lack of physical fitness and have them train to do pull ups.

Instead of being a believer in egalitarianism, or meritocracy, or any other more sweeping ideals, which I find do not take into account how individual we generally all are, I believe in the The Standard.

The Standard is what any human needs to meet to do The Job.

For instance, if The Job is firefighting, The Standard will be that one needs to be able to sprint up 12 stories in 70 pounds of gear wearing a respirator, in the temperature equivalent of the African Savanna, and potentially haul a 200lb person back down those 12 stories with vigor.  These are the things that are necessary to properly do The Job.

If The Job is nuclear engineering, The Standard will be a high-level education in physics and/or medicine and the ingenuity to put such information into real-world practice.  Note there’s no corporeal requirement whatsoever.  A brain in a tank might meet The Standard, if they were capable of communicating coherently with their embodied compatriots.

If The Job is a public school administrator, The Standard will be that one requires a huge glutenous ass on which to rest comfortably at their red tape dispenser, the possession of at least 7 cats, and a healthy measure of disgust toward both children and those who actually work for a living.

You didn’t turn in your paperwork.

You’ll notice however, that there is no mention of gender, race, sexuality, religion, or any other defining characteristic of a particular individual other than their ability to meet The Standard.  A girl from the projects, a boy from an Appalachian town with a population of 12 and a GDP assessed entirely in dirt, and a transgender Bangladeshi trust fund baby can all do The Job if they meet The Standard.

Sometimes, however, The Standard will be difficult for a set of people to reach.  There may be few women, if any, who meet The Standard to become a firefighter.  Personally, I don’t care.

It is far more important to have The Job done in the way it needs to be done than anyone’s feelings about not being able to do The Job.

Who would I like to rescue me from burning building?  The affirmative-action chick who was allowed to test at a reduced gear weight and half the lifting ability so that the FD wouldn’t get screamed at by social justice warriors, or the huge dude who passed with flying colors, wearing a weight vest just for a little extra challenge?

When my ass is on fire, I’m taking the person who can do The Job.  Period.

I would also take the huge viking chick who wore a weight vest to her testing as well.  The operation here is “Carrying ass out of fire,” not “Being a female firefighter in a display of how anything you can do we can do better.”

Yeah, you’ll do.

The Standard also does not discriminate by poverty level or any other characteristic.  Yes it may be more difficult for little Hiram Skaggs from Dysentery Creek, NC to get into Harvard for that physics degree, but if everyone knows where the bar is set and the bar doesn’t involve your skin color or dangly bits, everyone gets to take their shot per their individual proclivities.

Ideally, if I ran the world, The Job wouldn’t even know it was Hiram Skaggs applying.  They would be reviewing the merits of Applicant 3467-15.

If all the accepted applicants end up being Samoan women, so be it.  If the Coalition of Transgender Vietnamese Speakers is upset about being underrepresented they should brush up on their physics.  Or get more cats.  Or otherwise look into getting their demographic to reach The Standard.

I want the best people for the position, not a happy demographic rainbow of people who are potentially incompetent but check the boxes.

That’s what makes us equal – Everyone gets their shot, everyone gets to fail in their own special way.

And Also Monsters

Trigger warning – Fox News link.

An Illinois mother is charged with attempted murder after attempting to poison her children and herself with anti-anxiety medication.

A commenter via Facebook objects:

Your story said a mother was arrested….may I point out that a mother wouldn’t try to kill her children, only a monster would.

And an additional protest from another:

No “human” would attempt to kill their own kids. The end.

This is an ignorant minimization of a real circumstance.  Humans kill their own children fairly regularly.  Mothers are also humans.  A “mother” is simply a female human who has borne a child (conventionally a living child).  One does not receive a “How to Be a Parent” handbook and a sainthood upon this occurrence.

Women who are shitty people with no coping skills prior to spawning are vastly likely to still be shitty people with no coping skills on the other side of the maternity ward.  Women who are mentally fragile before having children are not likely to have that occurrence improve with an infant to care for.  Same for fathers.  Who are, incidentally, also humans.

Infants and children under the age of 6 are the cohort more likely to be killed by their parents (72% of cases), with mothers and fathers about equally likely to be the killer.  Fathers are more likely to be the killers of older children, but only by about 7%.   Roughly 500 children a year are murdered by their parents in the US.

All humans, not monsters.

Making this distinction where someone who is a mother cannot do such a thing, or categorizing them as something other than a mother when bad things happen denies reality.

Here’s some additional interesting information from NCBI.

This is Why I Don’t Believe You

Emma Sulkowicz, a student at Columbia (and unsurprisingly a visual arts major) has declared that she was violently raped by a fellow student.  To protest the university’s official finding of “not enough evidence” and their clearing of the accused, she has taken the following tack:

Outraged, Sulkowicz began carrying a 50-pound mattress wherever she went on campus, to suggest the painful burden she continues to bear. She has vowed to keep at it until he leaves the school.

However, after making an initial inquiry with the police,

Sulkowicz did not press criminal charges, a lengthy process that she said would be too draining

Of course.

Carrying a 50 pound mattress for years or more and collecting all the delicious attention from various concerns, that’s easy.  Actually going through the legal process to help authorities take what she has presented as a dangerous and violent man out of circulation so that he won’t victimize other women?

Can’t be arsed.

Paul Nungesser, the man accused by Sulkowicz of rape, was also accused by two other female students at essentially the same time.  One accused him of groping her at a party, the other of “intimate partner violence” including forced sex and emotional abuse.

Coming as a complete shock, when given the opportunity to plead their cases, groped girl –

had graduated and was unable, she said, to participate in the process

The outcome for intimate partner violence and forced sex girl –

The university dropped the intimate partner violence charge after that accuser, saying she was exhausted by the barrage of questions, stopped answering emails over summer vacation.

“It’s just such an awful burden,” said the fragile ladies, raising a limpid wrist to their pale foreheads, and sinking artfully to their finely upholstered fainting couches, “to have to keep telling the tale of my trauma to those who refuse to recognize that those possessed of uteri would never lie.  It feels like being violated all over again to have my strictly editorial embellishments questioned!”

The audience is entranced.

I, on the other hand, am wondering why we have a bunch of presumably strong, capable, intelligent modern women who decide to roar like lions, then act like mice when someone with authority notices said roaring.

The simple answer, and I love the simple answer, is that her story will get a bunch of sympathy and attention and accolades for bravery and perseverance from people to whom it can remain literary and ambiguous.

The police and other authorities have the capability to establish whether or not one’s story is factually correct.  Facts are the natural anathema of attention whores.

This is why carrying a 50 lb mattress advertising your trauma to the general public is a good, workable, idea, but helping the police put away a presumably violent criminal is “too hard.”

It’s because you’re lying.

Women Are Liars

People who don’t lie.

Lets talk about sacred cows.

Specifically that people who value rationality shouldn’t be following any around with a wheelbarrow, happily collecting the leavings to share and compare with other devotees.  Hey, here’s a particularly shiny sacred dropping!  Mine has maize in it!  Yours does too?  Why is there always maize in it?

If one is to be intellectually honest, there can’t be any areas off-limits to scrutiny.  Consider, the only reason people laugh at all the jokes except about (topic) are because they’re personally invested in (topic) and it hurts their feelings when (topic) is made fun of.  They will try to say it is because (topic) is somehow sacrosanct and should be elevated above the street-corner banality of humor.  Of course, laughing at other people’s (topic) is fine, because considering those silly people’s (topic) restricted to serious handling is just plain nonsense.

As an aside, this is how we hatch the entirely humorless Politically Correct Puritan Inquisitors.  They’ve adopted so many versions of (topic) as their own very personal deep concern, that there’s no room for trivialization.  How would that make the Baka pygmies feel, huh?  Don’t you care about the lived experiences of left handed pasta aficionados of color?

Say, how many feminist girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They’re womyn, and that’s not funny.

Moving on, I find it unpleasant when people make claims to the effect of “(Group member) wouldn’t (action) about (topic).”

It’s just a version of the “that’s never funny” where something is arbitrarily declared off-limits because the appalled party either identifies with the group, or they feel one of their sacred cows may be exposed as having a tasty brisket.

Lately the declarative has been “Women wouldn’t lie about rape.”

If that sentence has ever tripped gracefully from your mouth or keyboard, you’ve probably never met a woman, and you should probably stop wheelbarrowing around behind whomever in your life is group attribution biasing at you.

Women lie.

Woman are liars.

Men are liars too of course, we’re into equal opportunity around here.

There is nothing about womanhood or femaleness or any other property of being a homo sapiens sapiens in possession of two X chromosomes that renders one incapable of lying.

Women lie about all sorts of things.  They lie about stealing, lie on their taxes, lie about how they raise their children, and lie about their weight on their driver’s licenses.  They lie by omission and lie to your face, and make up grandiose stories that get them attention and sympathy or get them out of discomfort.  Generally these are the exact same things that men lie about.  People, of the human sort, rather than the orangutan sort, lie.  I’m pretty sure that orangutans would lie too, if we could communicate with them adequately.  Humans start lying practically as soon as they learn to speak. 

Even the most morally upright will lie, if only to preserve other people’s feelings.   That shirt looks great on you, by the way.

You know who doesn’t lie?


Happy, vapid, innocents.  Of course, they also are pretty much useless for anything except porridge.  Eloi are the ultimate acted-upon.  They don’t lie because they have no desires.  There’s no need to get any sort of edge, even if it’s just not making that other Eloi mad because their Christmas sweater is really a little much.  They’re simply not smart enough to care.

When people spout that women would never lie about rape, they’re group biasing women into the sort of creatures that have such little imagination that they can’t figure out an advantage to plain making shit up.  It’s especially insulting when the advantages of that particular class of lie are so obviously juicy.

Instant attention, fawning, get out of practically anything free cards (caught with an embarrassing lover?  Rape!  need to explain where you’ve been all night?  Rape!), all the rewards of martyrdom, and just a fantastic college essay topic about the heinous trauma you overcame.  All this can be yours, without any evidence whatsoever!  Just make up some awful generic dude who did something completely unverifiable to you, and let the sweet sweet attention wash over you.  Anyone who doubts even your most ridiculous lies will pilloried for you (there are at least three serious cognitive failures in the first two paragraphs of that article, happy hunting).

It’s easy.  And it’s vastly common, as all my incredibly dubious but shockingly numerous raped, almost raped, and institutional-rape-culture-raped college associates attest to.

Women aren’t Eloi, they’re humans.  They’ll take the advantage when they can get it, especially when there’s no risk in doing so.

Don’t insult us with doe eyed instance we can’t commit vile acts with the best of them.

*Image Credit: Classics Illustrated: The Time Machine